F * R * I * E * N * D * S

Coming from a bigger family, and from a family that adopts other “families,” I’ve learned to be social growing up. Having siblings guaranteed me for life to have forever friends. I went to a high school where I was enrolled in a tight-knit community that always felt like a home away from home. My first year of college, I was blessed to have met many people that made me become more acclimated to going to school three states away from home. Away from everything I grew up to and everyone I grew up with. I couldn’t remember the last time I had to intentionally go out and make friends. Lucky enough, opportunities arose. The people I became friends with were the people I would do everything with – go eat with, walk to class with, go to the gym with, go explore the new city with. We were all on the same boat – in a new world, trying to make our way through with as many hands to hold as we could. You come back to your second year of school and expect things to be the same, perhaps if anything, make more friends. However, you won’t be the only one with the same thing in mind. Coming back to a place you once called foreign, you think things will remain the same as before. However, everyone isn’t on the same boat anymore. Everyone has begun their own paths. And this isn’t a bad thing. Your friends start making other friends. Your friends start going to events without you. Your friends begin to branch out. And NONE of it is a bad thing. You just realize, this is all apart of the process. Throughout childhood you usually grow up with the same people and made friends because school situations promoted it. But you also started to make friends with people outside of school once you felt comfortable. In college, unfortunately, no one is going to push you to introduce yourself to others in front of class or “find someone who plays an instrument” so you can complete an introduction bingo (if you know, you know). You have to devote your time to making new friends because it is all a part of this process. It’s just a long-forgotten process. A bittersweet process. You are so happy to hear that your friends are excelling in their social lives and are going out of their comfort zones to meet new people, and potentially be given new life opportunities. But you still miss the guaranteed “yes” to going to meet in the dining hall, or the “let’s do it” to any adventure because you couldn’t think of anything better to do.

I had lunch with a friend recently, and she was telling me about her new group of friends and how much of a great time they were having with each other. I was genuinely happy for her. I knew that this new group of people were going to be some more people that she could rely on and give her an even bigger support system as she continues to venture through college, and possibly life. But I would be lying if I told you that for whatever reason, it gave me a “step back for a second and feel that emotion” feeling of sadness. Which, I know, sounds selfish. So I decided to think for a few days and write about this. I realized that it wasn’t really sadness I was feeling. I was doing everything I could to be a good friend, but that does not mean you are going to be someone’s only friend. I know for a fact, I don’t have only one friend that I rely on for everything, and I know that a lot of people would agree. I realized it was just a fear I was feeling. Afraid of what was going to happen in the future if my friends are taking their own paths. Afraid of when we graduate how we aren’t going to be all next to each other. Afraid of that day we may not be friends. Afraid of growing up. Your first year of college, you are still excused for feeling like a child because you are trying to get use to adulthood. Your second year of college, you got your hands on the reigns and are in control of as much as you can hold onto. You really have begun adulthood. And I think seeing my friends make their “adulthood” friends made me not afraid of losing them, but afraid of losing my childhood and afraid of moving on. Every friend will make other friends. Every friend will not be a guaranteed forever friend. But, if anything, every friend will teach you a lesson if you let them.

My little sister’s favorite pastime is binge watching the notorious sitcom, Friends. She can use any Friends phrase (because she has memorized every word of every episode) in any situation. It is constantly on in our house, playing as white noise in the background. Before going to college, I began to seriously watch it and take notes on what lessons the show taught about friendship. I idolized the friendships the characters had with each other and pictured college to end up like that (heads up – its not, and the characters aren’t even in college lol). After thinking about it. The most valuable lesson I think that show taught me and that I would like to share is this:

The most valuable and priceless friendships form when you aren’t looking for them. They just happen.